Earn It
People are shit. Some people are better than shit. And some, a very select few, you wonder how you ever found them, hidden amongst all the shit. But mostly, people are shit. Read the rest of this entry »
Clarification & Appreciation
Alright, now I can see that this entry is long overdue. I am now taking the time to write it, though I should be cleaning, so as to make it seem that I haven’t been completely unproductive during spring break. Read the rest of this entry »
Are You Ready, World?
Well, I suppose it’s official. I am free! Read the rest of this entry »
My Prayer
Oh dear God, please help me to stop missing a thing that I know is bad for me. Please wipe out the complexities of this love into oblivion. Send me not from Your sight, Lord, but rather send his image from mine. I pray for the will to forget, for the desire not to remember what there was, for the fortitude to withstand the pain that must come. I cannot wish it never were, having known it, yet I know my former state of ignorance was a blessing. It is not better to have loved and lost, but never to have loved at all. It seems a waste of what You created us to be, but without knowledge of something, there is no want of it. I wish to God I had not known. Foolish, simple child. You know God forgives all, but you can never forgive yourself. Read the rest of this entry »
Yesterday
Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Oh God, I wish that I could forget yesterday.
Life’s not that easy, I guess. My yesterday is burned into my memory permanently. I used to be able to build myself back up after things went crappy. I feel like a patchwork quilt. Or maybe like the pieces of one, waiting to be sewn together, part of a new whole, made of remnants and broken pieces, but never the same as they once were.
Well, what I can lean on right now is the knowledge that tons of people have gone through what I’m going through and survived. Some not only survived, but recovered. Many went on to be happy. A few even became happier than they had ever before been. I hope I can move beyond simply surviving. I know I’ll be able to. I must.
